The Decision of Changing

Weekly Log #2

I HATE to make decisions and that’s the first thing I had to do this week.

Not sure if you have been around long enough, but I have… “rebranded” this account… Again. It bothers me A LOT to be changing things so constantly (fortunately, no one was there to see the many changes on my Ko-fi page [it went through another one recently]) (and don’t ever ask about my Instagram account, pretty pretty please), but I hope believe I have reached a resolution. If it is for better or worse… we will have to wait and see.

So this week has been stressful, and head-banging, with the new wave of changes I had to make. Hopefully it will be the last? But that’s the thing with social media. Did I already said I HATE social media? Yeah, too. Well, it’s constantly changing, so we have to change with it as well.

I don’t want to be in there, but that desire clashes with the fear of “how will people ever find me?”. The perks of freelancing. I can’t pitch or sell myself for the life of… well, me. So it’s been really hard and rough for me to have a digital presence.

(I’m also paranoid, so having a digital presence haunts me at night.)

So, well, yeah… Decisions.

And don’t let me get started with changes.

I have the worst tolerance for changes. Especially if those are made last minute. It could wreck not only my whole day but my whole week. And I’m not even square-minded about schedules, but there’s something about making changes, radical changes, sudden changes, that just… throws me off.

My life has been changing so completely this year… In fact, the hooker line that came to mind to use as the first-ever sentence of the very first weekly post was:

“If someone told me last year that I would cut off my thirteen-year-old friendship thanks to my six-month relationship…”

And that’s just the most recent of the changes.

I’ve been trying to fix or cut that relationship for years… Thanks, babe.

I know that doesn’t sound like the worst that could happen (while writing this I received a notification that talked about something that is REALLY, really worse–like, what am I even complaining about?), but… each their own, I guess.

The world is weird.

No, wait.

People are weird.

The world is perfect just as it is.

…

Anyway.

So, last week I told you that I have some dental issues to take care of and won’t be on the budget or the schedule for a month or so. Well, this past Thursday I went to another dentist, and what I’ve been told (that I had to extract three pieces and stuff) wasn’t completely true.

To start with, I went to the dentist because of a caries eating one of my teeth, and they wanted to remove three pieces of which none was the proper one giving me hell. So this new dentist prioritized that first and instead of starting with a root canal treatment as the previous place wanted to do after the massive extraction, he wanted to clean it and cover it because there was a high probability that it would take care of it with that simple procedure.

If not, he told me to go back and he will take care of the root canal treatment discounting what the cleaning and cover up costed.

So far I’m still in pain, but the usual timelines regarding health never worked on me. For some reason, everything worsens beyond comprehension and lasts longer. So I’m just waiting for a bit. Maybe a week more.

Apart from that, I still have to extract one of the three initial pieces the previous place told me about, and only because that piece is bothering a second one. It was not and is not (yet) the cause of pain, so it’s not a priority.

I’m more relieved with the matter, a little less terrified because the word ‘surgeon’ still appeared in the conversation with this new dentist. But it seems like I found a new place where I feel comfortable with. Even if it takes me two hours of commuting just to get there 😬

That, fortunately, wasn’t the highlight of my week. I had a good week productivity-wise. The thematic days seem to be working wonders.

I just told you about the decision of changing doctors. Which was easy enough once I found the new one. I felt calm and comfortable immediately.

I also had to make the decision of changing big details on a TTRPG card game I have on the making since December last year. I’m working on it during the Creative Mondays and I felt pretty satisfied with this week’s progress. It feels easier and more me in ways I haven’t even mulled on yet, but I still have to add and tweak things this or that way for everything to fit together and be comprehensive and cohesive enough for playtesting.

Yeah… I’m watching you, playtester.

I also had to make the unfortunate decision of changing things here again. If you read my very first and most recent note, you would have known by now that I’m also human and make emotion-blinding mistakes. So, on Review Tuesdays (’cause I have a great stack of reviews to share yet, all of them already on my Tumblr and Instagram accounts), I went on the laborious work of reposting all the reviews I previously deleted from here last week.

Read the most recent review, Lub Dub Love.

I was trying to organize my accounts even more, but I ended up deeply mixing myself and acting rashly. Now the Azu is Reading, for my book reviews, and the TTRPG sections, for my campaigns and stuff, are alive and running for everyone. You can subscribe to what interests you.

Iron Valley, Linney’s Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

I’m also trying to be more alive in my Instagram account, and for once remember to share everywhere what I’m doing, and those ‘random’ posts go anywhere in the week, not following the themes I have given them. For example, when I read a new book, I post the review on GoodReads, The StoryGraph, and Tumblr immediately if possible, scheduling to the next Monday the making of the template for Instagram and posting that template that Wednesday. Now that I’m branching to my own stories on Patreon and TTRPG campaigns (posts going weekly on Tuesdays), I have to share that too, so that was part of what I did last Wednesday (and Friday).

Thematically, though, it’s Working Wednesday and I was finishing a Collaborative Writing Workshop I’m planning to launch on my personal Patreon soon. I have to give it some final touches and translate it to English (I’m a native Spanish speaker), but if it’s not going live this month, it will go live next month. Finally. Practically eight months later than promised… Heheheh.

Thursdays are backstage days, where I’m doing things I have to do but don’t matter to anyone else but me. I was glad I did what I had scheduled early because most of my day was wrecked due to going to the dentist. Four hours of commuting aren’t a joke. I had a great time, mostly, anyway. I enjoyed the trip, for a change. But it was still a toll on the body. And mind. So I had a chill and relaxing night to make up for it. Principally because I didn’t have any extraction that day (didn’t know what I was going to get into) and I could still live my life outside of new waves of pain (lies, but I’m accustomed to the current amount of pain). So yay for me.

Fridays are likely free days. I can’t really say, they were A-Particular-TTRPG-Editing Day a few weeks ago, and it’s more like prepping gifts’ day for now, but I can’t expand on it ‘cause the receiver is going to be reading this and I’m not going to give him any more spoilers. I’m doing things two months in advance to be ready for His Day™, so brace yourself. I would like to be this ahead of time for a lot more things, but you have to start somewhere, right?

Saturdays are Playful days where I would most likely be playtesting games. I’m one Saturday away from finishing my current solo campaign, so you will start seeing things about it this… Friday on Instagram, I believe. Don’t you worry, I will prep posts for here and other platforms when I finish with the Iron Valley campaigns I’m scheduling. In the meantime, I will probably be working on a public review of the game and sharing spoilers from my playthrough, so wait for it.

And that’s all for this week!

Next week I will probably be doing more of the same, with the add-up of this [REDACTED] adventure I’m creating for this [REDACTED] and stuff. I’m working on this whenever I have the smallest sliver of time, and I’m excited cause I’m doing a lot of new things already. I have a deadline and I suck with those, so I’m trying to finish the sooner I can. Maybe more [REDACTED] details about this stuff next week! Totally shouting out myself when I get the green light to share about it.

I still have to slide a bit of these weekly logs to write during the week, to not charge the whole Sunday into a Weekly Sunday kind of stuff. But it’s something new I have to accustom myself to, so it may take a bit of time. I’m not sure, we may know a little bit more next week.