Azu is Talking

About starting a blog? Maybe? Something about weekly logs...

I've been trying to start this since a few weeks ago. Thought about how I wasn't ready yet and immediately retorted myself saying that I would never be ready and I just should jump into it, right?

Well, I'm trying.

I've been thinking about this more or less like a lot.

At first, I wanted to start with an introductory post, but I really hate introductions and it has been taking me so long, delaying my own process. And I shouldn't be sabotaging myself, so I decided to go ahead without it.

If you stay long enough, you will get to know me.

That's how usually works, isn't that right?

Also, you shouldn't come just because of who I am or what I do, but stay because you like or are interested in what I have to say. At least I hope that's the case.

Even though I'm still figuring out what I have to say.

I do talk a lot, but sometimes (more often than not) it's so hard for me to speak up. Or talk about myself.

Here's another try in my long list of attempts.

I should be writing this weekly, as a sort of accountability. There won't be a particular topic, I doubt I can keep myself on track enough as to talk about only one thing at a time, so it will be an assortment of things I went through the week. In the end, I should have some kind of route of how the next week could go. Usually, I'm annoyingly organized: my writing on one side, my readings and reviews on another, my games in a third space… but all of those juggle together along the week, so it's only natural that it goes that way on here as well; these sort of writings could come with some sections to highlight the different parts and aspects that conform my life.

I hope to not bore you too much and to infect you with the emotions of the things I'm most excited about.

I'm going through a lot, but I'm hopeful and, as always, I would like to share my life with people. Maybe this is the moment I get to do it. Maybe not. But I would like to try.

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I started my week going to the dentist. I was told a few weeks ago that I needed to take a panoramic to see what could be done with a few difficult pieces, and the moment when I brought it back? I left the place terrified. I have an absurd dread and hatred toward the dentists, so even if a toothache was about to be solved, I didn’t feel relieved. I don’t feel relieved.

According to the dentist, I should have gone back last Friday to start with the removal of three pieces, but they never ask if I can or if it’s possible. It wasn’t. It’s not at the moment. So the appointment and the extraction have been postponed for like a month to get the money needed for it. Maybe in a month I can update you on this. Feel my excitement.

Believing it can’t get worse than that (it can, it always can!), I started working with my stuff.

This was the very first week in which I completely tried my “new” method of organization. I assigned a specific task to each day of the week, to try to keep myself productive, don’t waste momentum, and avoid burnout by lengthening the excitement for a particular project or having to tone it down until the next week. Maybe it helps to keep me motivated long enough to finish something.

Though, of course, if there are some sparks along the week, outside of the assigned day, I wrote them done because they are ✨ precious ✨. You can’t risk losing something good just because it wasn’t the day. That’s bullshit.

But so far, I believe I’ve had a good first week.

I’m so excited about a lot of things, it’s hard to choose which one to start talking about. I’m sure I’ll talk a lot about all of them at some point, but right about now? I’m still trying to figure out how I will organize myself to write this.

Hopefully I can tell you something about it next week.