Always Only You by Chloe Liese
Bergman Brothers #2
Ren
The moment I met her, I knew Frankie Zeferino was someone worth waiting for. Deadpan delivery, secret heart of gold, and a rare one-dimpled smile that makes my knees weak, Frankie has been forbidden since the day she and I became coworkers, meaning waiting has been the name of my game—besides, hockey, that is.
I’m a player on the team, she’s on staff, and as long as we work together, dating is off-limits. But patience has always been my virtue. Frankie won’t be here forever—she’s headed for bigger, better things. I just hope that when she leaves the team and I tell her how I feel, she won’t want to leave me behind, too.
Frankie
I’ve had a problem at work since the day Ren Bergman joined the team: a six foot three hunk of happy with a sunshine smile. I’m a grumbly grump and his ridiculously good nature drives me nuts, but even I can’t entirely ignore that hot tamale of a ginger with icy eyes, the perfect playoff beard, and a body built for sin that he’s annoyingly modest about.
Before I got wise, I would have tripped over myself to get a guy like Ren, but with my diagnosis, I’ve learned what I am to most people in my life—a problem, not a person. Now, opening my heart to anyone, no matter how sweet, is the last thing I’m prepared to do.
Review
I found this book unexpectedly, but my interest grows so big I had to read it. I didn’t know it was a second book until later, so much later in the story, and I’m more than up to reading to know the rest of the Bergman brothers.
I hadn’t finished it when I found out it would be part of my comfort readings, not that I, surprisingly, have a read list with that kind of book. At least I didn’t have one until now. And it’s that Frankie, an autistic and chronically ill woman, makes me believe that I can be loved too. Not that I’m an autistic person myself, but I’m starting to admit that I’ve been chronically ill for a long time.
It’s a sensitive book, a whole romantic one, and it took me by surprise that is also spicy. I usually don’t like the last type of book, I felt… uncomfortable, and this wasn’t the exception, but even with those scenes, that I understand don’t matter who the person is or what they have, they also deserve to live and experience things like those, this book doesn’t stop to feel comforting for me.
Taking care of the person you love, even when they aren’t by your side. Making them see you. Being loved by the person you love, that‘s some sort of a miracle. Showing them that no matter their circumstances, difficulties, or obstacles, they’re loved, they deserve to be loved, and such things don’t diminish that. That’s what I like to see.
Phrases that I liked so much that I marked them while reading
«If I weren’t a freakishly coordinated athlete, I would have crashed the car.»
— Chapter 3.
«This is one of the disadvantages of having reddish hair. You can’t hide your emotions to save your life –you wear them on your skin.»
— Chapter 3.
«"‘Love goes by haps; Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.’”»
— Chapter 3.
«No one this wonderful should feel so unsure of himself.»
— Chapter 5.
«"Plotting world domination?”
“But of course.”»
— Chapter 6.
«"Give me six to ten feet, Frankie. I’m serious. If I get you sick, I’m going to get cranky.”
“That’s not a disincentive, Bergman. I’d pay a lot to see you get cranky.”»
— Chapter 7.
«"Francesca, pay attention. This is important. […] You need a masky thing-a-ma-bob. I have a fever. And I keep touching you. And breathing near you. Dr. Amy!” he hollers.
“Ren.” She laughs. “Right here, buddy. What’s up?”
“This here Francesca is…” He frowns. “Ah, I can’t think of the word right now. But it means her medicine makes her body very friendly towards the germs. She needs something so she’s safe from my plague.”
Amy grins at me, then directs herself to Ren. “While that’s very considerate of you, I’m confident your fever isn’t due to anything plague related. When I was assessing you, I noticed signs of a sinus infection. Remember, I told you I was going to give you some antibiotics?”
He stares at her. “I do not remember that.”
She pats his good arm. “That’s because you got your head knocked nicely. You told me you’d had a cold recently, and I told you it seems like you developed a secondary bacterial infection in your sinus cavity from it. That’s why you’re fevered.”
He squints at her one-eyed. “Can you maybe condense that to smaller words? I’m not following.”
“What I mean to say is,” she says gently, “that you aren’t contagious. You won’t get Frankie sick.”
“Oh, good.” Ren sighs and lets his eyes fall shut. “So, she can keep holding my hand, then, and I won’t give her the plague.”
“I should go anyway,” I tell him. “Time for you to sleep, Zenzero.” Slowly, I start to pull my hand away, but Ren clamps down on it, and his eyes pop open.
“That’s it. That’s what I wanted to ask you.” He tries to sit up and falls back, grimacing. “Forgot about that,” he groans.
“Easy. You know I’m always around. We can talk tomorrow.”
“No.” He stares at me seriously. “I need to know this. What does zenzero mean?”
“Well, it’s silly,” I say, lowering my voice. “It’s just Italian nonsense.”
“Nonsense.” He frowns. “You call me nonsense?”
“Dammit, Bergman. No,” I whisper. “It means ginger, okay? Because you’re…” I wave my hand in the general vicinity of his face. “You’re a ginger. It’s cute.”
Ren’s smile is so bright, its voltage could power a city block. He cranes his head toward Amy. “Hear that, Dr. Amy? She thinks I’m cute.”
But before I can say a word in my defense, he shuts his eyes on a soft sigh, drifting off, his hand locked tight around mine.»
— Chapter 7.
«"I should get better at escaping that kind of situation.”
“What’s your usual tactic?”
“Making up an excuse for why I need to leave.”
“Ah. And you didn’t leave this time because…”
“Because I was waiting for you. Of course, I didn’t leave.”
“You could have waited in your car, Ren. You didn’t have to deal with that for my sake.”
“What do you say you let me worry about how and where I wait for you, Francesca?”»
— Chapter 10.
«"I’d be flattered if someone thought you were with me.”»
— Chapter 10.
«"We’re not done with this conversation,” he says firmly.
I pat his shoulder reassuringly and stifle my grin. “Whatever you say, dear.”»
— Chapter 10.
«She leans against the wall, with a smile that’s so dangerously beautiful, I’m worried my heart’s going to beat right out of my chest. At least I’m at a hospital. Someone could probably do something about that here.»
— Chapter 11.
«That’s Ren’s Give-me-grace-Jesus-I’m-trying-not-to-beat-the-shit-out-of-somebody face.»
— Chapter 13.
«"And then once I set you down, I’m going to murder my brother.”»
— Chapter 13.
«"Who I do or don’t spend time with outside the rink has nothing to do with my professional performance, which is the focus of this press conference. While we’re on that subject, I’ll be returning for Thursday’s game. Next.”»
— Chapter 13.
«But why is she hurting? Aren’t her meds supposed to manage that? A fierce surge of worry and protectiveness blasts through me. I want to wrap her up and kiss it all better. I want to take everything inside her that hurts and put it in my body. I’m big. Solid. Someone like me should have this, not someone like Frankie. It’s unfair. Patently unfair.»
— Chapter 21.
«When you live with chronic pain, you get used to living through it. You just do life, until you collapse.»
— Chapter 22.
«"I know that. I just want to stay with you.”»
— Chapter 22.
«"I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that you’re to come to Ziggy’s family birthday party, and if I don’t bring you, I’m not welcome.”»
— Chapter 23.
«"You’re perfect,” I tell her.
Snorting, she laughs. “I’m far from perfect, but if you mean I’m appropriately dressed, then I’ll take it.”»
— Chapter 28.
«"Thank you, honey cakes.”
“They get worse and worse,” Frankie mutters.»
— Chapter 28.
«"I was here with you. I’m the one who had half an eye on you and caught you before you nearly cracked your head on the concrete. I’m the one who knew what to do. I’m the one who wouldn’t let anything come between you and me until I knew that you were okay and that you were going to wake up.”»
— Chapter 29.
«"I understood becoming a couple to mean that, among other things, when either of us was hurting, we were no longer alone in that. So, I have a relationship to your pain. It’s not mine, and I don’t get to tell you what to do with it, but I get to choose to love you through it. And if and when you need care and comfort —which, like it or not, the past forty-eight hours, you did— I get to be the person who gives it to you. That’s basically the point of a relationship. Isn’t it?”»
— Chapter 29.
«"Yes, you’re going to be all right. And yes, you can handle this. But guess what?”
“What?”
She smiles. “You don’t have to do it alone.”»
— Chapter 29.