It feels like a lazy week but only because I’ve been working really hard with outside world stuff and less with the online side (where, to be honest, it’s my whole life basically). And when I'm back, I need to decompress and let my body relax.
The relaxing part took me the rest of the week, but what can I do when my body is begging me for it?
I’ve decided to withdraw from my Monday class already, but I still scheduled to go to the photo place one last time. Welp, it was not possible. I woke up with an allergy. I spent the morning wearing the reaction down (after it goes through a certain threshold, there’s no going back—I have to ride it to the end), and after it ate up all my energy, I dragged my ragged self to the kitchen because I had to fix myself breakfast or it would just continue rolling south.
Instead of crashing and leaving me K.O., my body decided to change into energy-saving mode. I spent the rest of the day in bed. I’ve finished business with both the [REDACTED] adventure and the book I was reading (though I didn’t start the next one until half the week passed), so I figured I could just… rest and breathe.
Rest and Breathe seemed to be The Main Task™ of the week ‘cause on Tuesday my body went through another… episode, I guess.
I did go out. I was supposed to go accompanied, but while I was dressing, my sister bailed out on me and I had already put the effort into getting up and changing clothes, it would have been a waste to change back and get into bed again, so I decided to just roll with it.
I’ve never had tremors before. My hands tremble when I’m hungry, but I made a point of pausing to eat something before starting the whole adventure. I wasn’t hungry. And my hands weren’t the only ones trembling.
I can’t remember exactly when it started, but I was grateful on the bus to get a chair, and the ride in the subway was a challenge between my will to keep myself together versus my body on the brink of breaking down. Having jumped in the wrong direction line, going up and down two sets of stairs to get to the right platform had me praying and considering if I was capable of asking for help—my muscle legs were shaking so much I thought I was going to fall.
For your information: I am not. When I enter this state, I can only go forward by inertia, the only thing stopping me is reaching my destination.
I tried to. Call a person who was going down the stairs with me, but they ran down the stairs to avoid missing the subway that was already there. Seek the security police on this side of the platform, but that would have required me to let go of all my will busy keeping myself together. So I did not. I’d rather fall. I was so close to it.
But I miraculously reached the photo place and interaction seemed to snap me out of it. I still had leg tremors until I sat down, but I was scared for so long, I needed to destress nonetheless.
I downed a small cup of coffee in case I needed sugar and some water. And stayed until the passport site approved my photo. It just took two takes—that day. I rather not count how many photos total.
My mom insisted that I take an Uber, so I did that and went back home. Finally able to get to the next step in the process. No one wanted to help me choose the day to go leave my biometric data (signature and fingertips), so I scheduled it for the first hour the next day. A whole other adventure.
I didn't get to share it everywhere but my weekly, automatic, Iron Valley, Linney's Campaign post, the last one so far, was live this Tuesday.
On Wednesday, I left home with my mom at six thirty ‘cause she has to be at her job at seven. Or rather at eight, but if she wants a free ride with her sister—they work one next to the other—and avoid traffic, she has to be ready by then. And me with her.
I had to be in Passports at nine.
It gave me time to sit for an hour or so and I got comfortable enough I took off a little late. At the subway station, though, I noticed I didn't have my subway card with me. I remembered taking it out of my wallet the day prior and keeping it in an outside pocket of my handbag for easy access. I didn't need it ‘cause I went back in an Uber. And I never put it back. I didn't bring my handbag but my backpack. And if my mom wouldn't have given me some cash, I would have been short of money. It was supposed to be used for my breakfast, but welp. Stuff happens.
I bought a new subway card and I was so close to running the two blocks to Passport when I arrived at the station. No need, though, there was no one to hold me accountable.
The attention was stressful for a hard-of-hearing person. The people welcoming and directing me were impatient and rude. The areas were so noisy. I was glad the receptionist only made me one expected question because otherwise, I would have lost it. The staff helping inside was nice, or I was looking too close to lose it already. The people managing my biometric process, though… that was awful. I wasn't hearing a word because of the intensity of the noise and they weren't being expressive either. I was on the brink of tears from the frustration alone. We managed, somehow. And I needed three solid minutes before storming out to hold myself together.
Another step of the process done. One full week before returning to receive my passport. Finally. Next week I'll tell you how that certain adventure went.
I stayed in bed the rest of the day, until my partner and I’s ASL class. (We skipped a video without noticing, so now we're one week away from finishing the Essentials.)
On Backstage Thursday, I started the next book on schedule and, to be honest, I'm not feeling it. I thought it was temporary, but I'm understanding the author's choices more than feeling entertained by them. I find small moments I like here and there, but overall, not my type. It's fine, we grow, totally normal. I want to end it just to close the chapter, but if I don't do it with nice emotions, I'll pass from the review. I want to help indie authors, but if I don't have nice things to say, I rather say nothing—not because a book is not for me I have to ruin someone else's experience.
I got to do my themed task though, which made me feel good cause it was the last one of the section and I can start a different one. Cheers for finishing long-term tasks 🥂
On Secret Friday, I made sure everything was ready for Monday, ‘cause the day finally came. My partner is having his birthday tomorrow and it's my first time celebrating it with him. I have a whole lot prepared (and had stressed myself so much trying to keep the schedule), but it's all about to come to life. Some stuff didn't work out, but that's part of life. I'm so excited, we're starting to celebrate today because he'll be gone for a few hours tomorrow and I don't want to miss a single thing. I just planned too much! Maybe I will hold back a bit next year.
I was still checking stuff and tuning everything for Monday on Saturday while getting more solo games to check out. I'm feeling so happy about it, I just hope to get enough time for all of it.
And so, that was my week.
I have the first level 5 English quiz next Thursday. The passport on Wednesday. A possible visit to an embassy to get a visa on the same day. Maybe I'll get an answer from the editor on the [REDACTED] adventure? We will see.
I have nothing against my weekly updates, but I may be writing too many themed posts about particular stuff and it may or may not become the norm in the future instead? Only one way to find out 😉