Emotional Rollercoaster

It was a stellar week, if randomly dropping emotions here and there is what you would call ✨ stellar ✨

Weekly Quests Overview

Monday: Celebrate partner's New Year ✨

Tuesday: Catch up with Iron Valley's posts.

Wednesday: Get my passport.

Thursday: Start new backstage section.

Friday: Brainstorm friend's birthday gift.

Saturday: Read new solo TTRPG.

I'm not even going to try to cover it, there did was something stellar. I was a stellar mess.

Rolling down in the pre hormones state, this is the lowest I have fallen since I met my partner. Which was a huge and nice streak. The last one was in November, and it was so hard I was trying to convince myself to reach out to any helpline. I did not, as I was gonna have my therapy session the next day, but I was going through hell that night.

Maybe not the whole week, but the ball started rolling in advance, and this past weekend was dreadful. I did the best I could to distract myself, but my mind doesn't turn off.

Let's go back to the week, though:

Monday

Quest of the Day: Celebrate partner's New Year ✨.

It was my partner's birthday and I was so excited to celebrate the first one I could with him. It was stressful, though, ‘cause I had to fight to reserve the day just for us. From his side. (I mean, I know, if he had wanted to do something else or with someone else, I would have been quiet.)

Even though he had to go to work, I'm certain I did a great job. We started it the day prior to make up for the hours we would miss while he was working, but I showered him with lovely gifts.

I've been working on them for MONTHS. It was nice to finally get them out.

The rest and details are just for us though, but it's been so long since I've been waiting for a day that wasn't mine. Starting to plan to beat myself next year already ✨

Tuesday

Quest of the Day: Catch up with Iron Valley's posts.

Did I do that?… Oh, yeah, I did!

Linney's campaign's over, sadly. At least for now. All I had from their first day is already out. You can find the whole of it on Patreon, but a part and excerpts from the rest are as well on Tumblr, Medium, Substack, and Inkspired. Delight yourself to your heart's content 💙

I adore Linney, but I'm sure I'll continue the story mainly because of Chase. Have you met him yet? He's delicious 😋 While rereading (you do that a lot when you're posting stuff, or is that just me?), I figured out demonic lore I doubt I thought about while I was playing, and as I never brought it up explicitly (’cause I doubt it ever came to mind), I can still play with it in the future. If When I get back to it. And I just can tell you… it satisfies a lot of my imagination 🤭

My Personal Campaign starred this week as well and I thought of the best way of describing it:

Celeste is an amnesiac human who has to find out why she's running away from the city.

The only free post is this first one, the rest will be locked behind a paywall on Patreon because, even though this is just another story of mine, I poured a lot of me into the main character. It felt private. It was private, that's what ‘personal’ stands for. And I know someday I will feel a lot better about broadly sharing it, but for now, it will be like that.

Iron Valley, Personal Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

I also was happy I got to get back with the reviews. I still have a lot of them to share and I want to keep the reading schedule, so there won't be anything new on Patreon for a while. Sadly, whatever has kept me away from posting them on the rest of my accounts has kept me from posting the most recent ones in spaces like Tumblr, GoodReads, The StoryGraph, and Instagram (which are the easiest ones to share on immediately). I have three new titles in the belt, so I should schedule it… It just feels so weird, it just never needed to be in the schedule for me to sit and post them, but I guess I'm more messy now. I need to write down everything or it fell through.

Read this week’s review, The Last Ever After.

Wednesday

Quest of the Day: Get my passport.

My Wednesdays have been taken away from me lately but I hope that was the last one. Because now that I have the workshops up and running, I want to at least make one post talking about them. On Instagram, I mean. It was going to be a thematic Wednesday task, but it just was dragged under with all this passport madness.

I'm sure I'll write a whole particular post about this process, so I'm not gonna rant more than the minimum indispensable.

After my photo finally being approved, my biometric data painstakingly taken, and the delivery date scheduled, I just had to go get my passport.

This little book has given me so much stress and many headaches… But just after a little hell of a time, enough to take out the rest of my day, I got it.

I did it.

It took a little more than a month, but I finally have my passport.

Now onto the visa 🫠

My dad wants to take me to the US, so I need to have a visa for that. But, more importantly, I need a visa to go to my partner.

As I missed the visit window time for the embassy, I settled with an email I didn't thought I was going to get an answer from. It didn't even took long. I scheduled it to go the next morning and I had an answer before noon.

My intention to have a winter (more like summer? He's on the opposite side of the world from me) vacation was destroyed before I even got time to think about what I wanted for lunch. It was a lot to digest but that only meant our plans changed, not that they disappeared.

We will still be hit by it every now and then as the days pass by, but we will also be solidifying the next attempt, so nothing was really lost (more than expectations, I mean). (I know very well that expectations are A Big Thing™️ and play a great deal in long-distance relationships, I shouldn't have said that—in that way at least, but I forgot how the original sentence or intent went. I'm sorry.)

Thursday

Quest of the Day: Start new backstage section.

I certainly didn’t start it. I was down. That was the day in which my partner and I talked about our plans crumbling, so we weren’t feeling exactly great. He was busy and I certainly busied myself with editions (finally, I started them! But, uh oh, did I managed to keep it constant?), so in some way, we kept ourselves together anyway.

I had my first level 5 English quiz and I got a 19/20. Neat. I didn’t find where the mistake was, though, so I will have to carry my curiosity to the grave. And after that, I went on doing English homework until I was fed up with it. I have to start this week’s one already, but I still have a few days to do so.

The Supernatural episodes weren’t nice to us. My partner got to enjoy them somehow, but the wound was fresh and they were pushing their fingers on it. It also could have been because of my hormones, but welp. We survived? Yay?

Friday

Quest of the Day: Brainstorm friend's birthday gift.

I have a certain idea of what I want to write about, but I didn’t dwell on that.

My partner received the hit of the news that morning, so we spent a little time licking our wounds.

I did nothing else apart from the editions, which is good anyway. I mean, I’m trying to balance my body’s needs and all that, so if I needed to take a step away to breathe, I was going to do so.

And I did so, more and less, all weekend.

Saturday

Quest of the Day: Read new solo TTRPG.

I wanted to start the last TTRPG I received, but emotional baggage is never taken into account. I mean, I never do, it’s impossible to prevent.

So I spent the whole weekend watching a Dorama. The hormones brought a destructive wave of feelings and thoughts I rather didn’t pay attention to, and distracting my mind is the best way to ignore them. It wasn’t easy. It didn’t made them go. But the days passed faster and I stayed less in those moments and emotions.

I started to feel a little better last night, when I drafted half of this update. And though today has been another hardship, aren’t I here? I say it counts as something.

This new ‘template’ just occurred to me and I’m not sure if I should share what I think would be next (this) week’s main quests, but I will pass right now. I don’t want to see what the week has in store for me—not in the mood just yet.

The most important one at the moment is getting back into place. Why does it always seem like I’m always fighting to get back in place?